Dear Writer,

I regret to say that we cannot use the piece you have submitted. There are many potential reasons for this: we are looking for very particular subject matter; we are overstocked right now; we were drunk when we read it. This is not a judgment of you. It does not mean you are a bad writer.

Of course, you probably are a bad writer. You’re probably so bad you can’t finish this sentence: “My mama wears __________.” The vast majority of people who think of themselves as writers are actually bad writers. They just don’t know it. Nonetheless, this one rejection doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bad. But probably you are.

And the odds are that you are immoral and lazy as well. We don’t mean to be harsh. We’re talking about the percentages here.

Best, The Editors

-via The Rejection Generator, to help you become familiar with that fear